I'm going to shamelessly steal an idea from Norbizness, who stole the idea from generations before him, who stole it from their forefathers, who had the idea handed down to them by God Himself, along with details and photographs of Him drawing up the plans for Intelligent Design.
The idea? Mocking the music that dominated the charts the year you graduated from high school. As luck would have it, all four of us here at LLatPoN graduated in the magical year of 1990. (Well, technically, I-Rod never really graduated from a high school. But his GED was signed that year, so same thing.)
How bad was that year? Here are just the top 20 singles from 1990:
1. Hold On, Wilson PhillipsI've got to say that half of those songs are ones I don't even recognize, and the other half are ones that, until now, I'd managed to block from my memory through a combination of psychiatric therapy, hard liquor, and some pills I found in a gas station men's room. My thorough embrace of indie rock during college is making a lot of sense now.
2. It Must Have Been Love, Roxette
3. Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinead O'Connor
4. Poison, Bell Biv Devoe
5. Vogue, Madonna
6. Vision Of Love, Mariah Carey
7. Another Day In Paradise, Phil Collins
8. Hold On, En Vogue
9. Cradle Of Love, Billy Idol
10. Blaze Of Glory, Jon Bon Jovi
11. Do Me!, Bell Biv Devoe
12. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You, Michael Bolton
13. Pump Up The Jam, Technotronic
14. Opposites Attract, Paula Abdul
15. Escapade, Janet Jackson
16. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You, Heart
17. Close To You, Maxi Priest
18. Black Velvet, Alannah Myles
19. Release Me, Wilson Phillips
20. Don't Know Much, Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville
Looking over the full list -- and take a look for yourself, because the carnage continues -- I'd say there are probably only two songs out of the entire 100 that I could listen to today without screaming. And which classics are these? Down at #63, Digital Underground's "The Humpty Dance" and then at #94, Biz Markie's "Just a Friend." One hundred hits to choose from, and the only things that are still digestible are novelty rap songs. The rest of it is just Michael Bolton and Skid Row as far as the eye can see.
The horror, the horror...