For those of you who thought that South Park broke new ground in the entertainment industry with its heartbreaking chronicle of gay dog Sparky, and his adventures on Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride, this album is proof that gay dogs have had a presence in the industry for decades. In fact, it's a well-known fact that all the great dog stars of Hollywood were, in fact, homosexuals. Benji? Gay. Rin Tin Tin? Flaaaaaming. Lassie? Canadian. (Sometimes it's hard to tell.)
Alright, it's time for the Friday Random Ten. Take out your iPod, set it on iRandom, and give us the first ten iTunes that pop out. And if you think you're man enough -- or woman enough, or child enough -- to handle the Coolness Self-Audit, go ahead and do that on the standardized zero-to-ten scale. A zero is downright Lawrence Welkian, while a ten should be so cool it frightens small children. (No going to eleven, Nigel Tufnel.)
Here's mine:
1. Tom Scott, "Gotcha" -- Believe it or not, you all know this tune. It was the pimped-out theme song to the original "Starsky and Hutch." Listening to it makes me believe that I, too, drive a cherry-red, souped-up 1974 Ford Torino and that I, too, get to hang with supercool Detective Ken Hutchinson and superfly informant Huggy Bear. And that, for a brief moment, makes me supercool too. 10/10
2. Beck, "Farewell Ride" -- Off his latest and maybe his best album, Guero. I saw him play a tiny little club in Manhattan right before it came out, and I do believe he blew the doors off that motherfucker. Phenomenal show. 7/10
3. De La Soul, "Peas Porridge Hot" -- One of my favorite hiphop groups, but this is a mediocre tune off a mediocre album. 6/10
4. The Bee Gees, "Night Fever" -- Yeah. Not cool. Next. 3/10
5. Allen Toussaint, "Get Out of My Life Woman" -- Nice to see a New Orleans legend make the FRT this week. (Norbizness had a nice tribute last Friday to other New Orleans legends, by the way.) It's a great song on its own, but the fact that Slick Rick, Biz Markie and the Beastie Boys all sampled it, well, that takes its coolness factor, cuts it in half, and then doubles it! 10/10
6. Zero 7, "Red Dust" -- Not one of the best songs off Simple Things, but decent enough ambient. So good that the song usually plays a minute or so before I realize it's on. And as we all know, lurking in the background is cool. Or a sign of stalking. I forget which. 6/10
7. The Replacements, "Treatment Bound" -- Not the most rockin' tune of the Mats' repertoire, but if a band ever had an appropriate theme song, this is it. 6/10
8. Stevie Wonder, "Living for the City" -- Seven minutes of synthesized soul. This was Stevie Wonder near the peak of his funkiness, before the sad years when he was blackmailed into recording songs like "My Cherie Amour." Seriously. How else do you explain it? 8/10
9. Chiapet, "Don't You Want Me, Baby" -- From Freedom of Choice, a compilation that fought for reproductive rights in the traditional way -- by recruiting indie rock bands and having them record '80s hits. The novelty of covering a Human League hit was pretty big back in the salad days of the early 1990s, but upon further review, this one doesn't have much staying power. 5/10
10. Blackalicious, "Blazing Arrow" -- Phenomenal hiphop that moves at a blistering speed. The opening lines are "Amazin phase your days your hazy ways my Blazing Arrow / The rays that range from Asia way to Rio De Janeiro" and it only picks up speed from there. 9/10
Alright, that gives me a barely passing grade of 7.0. Whew. I'd hate to be held back in Cool School. Or maybe that makes you cooler? So hard to tell.
Before I go, here's a little Friday musical treat. TV on the Radio have recorded a tribute to President Bush, called "Dry Drunk Emperor." If you love great music and great Bush-bashing, this song's for you. Both the mp3 and lyrics are available here.
Drop your own Friday Random Ten in the comments, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit. Think you've got the stones? Bring it on!
11 comments:
1) Shooting Stars - Elysian Fields. This is no way to start a Friday, but it's a pretty good tune if you're into atmospheric chickified croony stuff. 6/10
2) All the Wine - The National. This I got from the SXSW website. I know nothing about them, but I like the song OK. Singer is somewhere between Tom Waits and that guy from Cake. 5/10
3) Tigress - Songs: Ohia. I have sung the praises of the horribly named Songs: Ohia before. This song is another one that starts slow and builds to a huge screeching climax of Southern-fried goodness. 9/10
4) Words and Guitars - Sleater Kinney. Now we're hitting some kind of stride. I love me some Kinney. They're definitely the best two girl/no bass band in the world. You know it's a good song when you think to yourself "man, this song is way too short." 8/10
5) One Hundred Percent Free - Digby. No idea where I picked this song up, but it's pretty good if you don't mind poppy crap. Reminds me of Squeeze (and I really like Squeeze - seriously). 6/10
6) Do - Album. Album is hands down my favorite Spanish language electronica group. This is a great song to play in the background while you're engaged in something else. You don't really notice it until it's over, and you think "That was good, what was that?" They'll score and album one day and become the next Tangerine Dream. 7/10
7) Take the Skinheads Bowling - Camper Van Beethoven. Not my favorite song by CVB, but always fun to hear. 8/10
8) He's a Mighty Good Leader - Beck. This here's a folk song sung in a folk song style. Would be right at home on the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack. 7/10
9) Dear John - Aimee Mann. It's an Aimee Mann song, so you know what you're going to get. Girl sad about some stuff that will never get right. This one has drums and bass. 7/10
10) Baby Get Lost - Elysian Fields. Talk about coming full circle. Back where I started in the chicky stuff. Another good tune here by a band I'll never buy anything from or see in concert. 6/10
I just purchased 'The Rock Snob's Dictionary' (http://www.randomhouse.com/broadway/email/rocksnob/) and I must say I love it. It is not for everybody, but if you know to call The Replacements - The 'Mats and why, then you will enjoy this book.
Enough of my weekly shilling. Time to FRT-
1. Cruel To Be Kind - Letters To Cleo - I have always said that Nick Lowe was a better songwritter/producer than he was performer (he wrote "What's So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding). This cover by a underrated Boston band is better than the original 8/10
2. Satin Doll - Duke Ellington - Once toured the country by train with his own rail car. Pretty cool. 7/10
3. When Doves Cry - Barenaked Ladies - like Otto said Canadian or Gay? it's so hard to tell sometimes. 5/10
4. Private Eyes - Hall and Oates - I asked a friend of my if it was Mtv that sucked all the soul out of this group. Remember "Rich Girl", "Sarah Smiles", "She's Gone" and then they did a whole bunch of soulless crap - like "Private Eyes" 4/10
5. Spin The Bottle - Juliana Hatfield Three- Oh Juliana, you were going to save us from grunge with a combination of odd time signatures and raw lyrics. But what happened? You sold out and appeared on an episode of "My So Called Life". So Sad. 6/10
6. Band On The Run - Wings - An example of the irrepressible spirit of SIR Paul McCartney. God I hate him. 5/10
7. Hurt - Johnny Cash - This song and video swept at the country music video awards. Trent Reznor must be laughing all the way to the bank. 5/10
8. Mars, The Bringer of War - Gustav Holst- With a name like "Gustav" you might be surprised to know that he is actually British. This is part of his Planets. Each movement is named after a Planet and was written in the style of it's Zodiac namesake. And yes I always giggle throughout Uranus.
9. Just - Radiohead - Great song, even better video (which doesn't happen all the time) 10/10
10. Sister Havana - Urge OverKill - "Come around to my way of thinkin', Don't you want to, want to get along? Everyday just like a vacation with you
When I'm watchin' you and Fidel Castro in the sand, kissin'! " Yeah, I'm down with that 9/10
RoddyRod puts his finger right on what I don't like about y'all's music: it's chickified and poppy. Where's the power chords? Where's the anthems? Where's the Freedom Rock?
I'll tell you where it is. Right . . . here!
1) The Big Money - Rush. Okay, so they're Canadian, so they don't know anything about Freedom Rock. Still, a great song. 8/10
2) Tighter and Tighter - Soundgarden. That's more like it! I love this song so much I could OD on heroin! 9/10
3) Purify - Metallica. Never heard this song. I intentionally stole their St. Anger album off the web just because I hate them and their napster-hating ways, but I have no intention of actually listening to it. Take that, Lars! 0/10
4) Third Eye - Tool. This is the instrumental/song with excerpts from Bill Hicks' comedy shows. Hicks and Tool is like peanut butter in chocolate, baby. 7/10
5) Over Now - Alice in Chains. One of the great Cantrell-sung AiC songs. At least he had the decency not to kill himself. 9/10
6) Look up at the Sun - Prong. Quality punky rock. Makes me feel like I should do some skate boarding, except that I'd bust on my ass faster than Bush sr. on a segway. 6/10
7) God Am - Alice in Chains. Another great tune, although two songs from one album is a bit much for the FRT. 9/10
8) Stalker Song - Danzig. Not the best tune ever, but pretty good. 8/10
9) A Passage to Bangkok - Rush. Damn Canadians are really lousing up the list this week. Decent song, but why they used Chinese-sounding music for Thailand escapes me. 6/10
10) Skating away on the ice of a new day - Jethro Tull. Out, damned spot! 2/10
I hope the rock-and-Bill-Hicks combination works better for Tool than it did with his own music. That man was a brilliant comedian, but his little guitar solos always screamed out "I like magic mushrooms."
Otto -- I am digging the retro album covers, quirky cool and fun! but i suppose in your little story skit Stevie's behind the wheel and crashes into a tree, oh haha very funy motherfucker....
1.eminem - Kim - yeah, I think this goofy little white rapper needs some anger management, goosefrabba baby, goosefrabba... all of the violence and misogyny and homophobia aside this guy can kick a sweet little beat (and apparently kick the shit out of his ex and her new beau all at the same time) .. I have to admit though, I kinda like Tori Amos' re-working of this song a lot better. 6/10
2-a tribe called quest - his name is mutty ranks - a ragga tinged cut from the wonderful The Love Movement Album, but nothing really earth shattering and too repetitive a beat. 6/10
3-CCR - Long as I can see the light -- oh sweet CCR, take me home again, I won't be losing my way, long as I can see the light...9/10
4-Led Zeppelin - Tangerine - excellent song from one of the best albums of all time, III.10/10
5-Beck - Electric Music and Summer People - Beck is that slacker extraordinaire who can blend a little blues, pop, electrotrash and a dose of hip hop to make a pretty tasty pap smear stew that just might be Madonna's.7/10
6-Robert Randolph & the Family Band - Smile - I initially wrote these guys off as bluesy jam band wankery, and while they have those elements the soulful gospel and feel good vibe have really turned me around - this is a great way to prep for the weekend, and maybe not so surprisingly goes quite well with a packed tight bong...8/10
7-Jamiroquia - Virtual Insanity -- I actually like a fair amount of jammy's stuff, the white boy falsetto getting a bit dance funky is fun and frivolous, but leans a bit heavy on the sugary sweetness end of the pop spectrum and as such can only be taken in very small doses. 6/10
8-Akoya Afrobeat Ensemble - star wars - a little afrobeat to get the weekend started just right, and these guys lay it down like back in the day with a world music flair and youthful exuberance not to be taken lightly -- if you get the chance, by all means check these guys our live... awesome. 9/10
9-twilight singer - a love supreme - as you've probably picked up by now I think Greg Dulli can do NO wrong, and this point is proven with his recent Twilight Singers releases, of course interpreting a Cotrane ode to God masterpiece into a dark erotic groove ... damn. 10/10
10-Cee Lo Green w John Popper - country love - a little slow to end the FRT off and kick the weekend into full gear, but a damn fine song that has CeeLo kicking it down home southern soul style with a minimized funky beat and popper adding a little bluesy coutnerpoint.7/10
passage to bangcock(!) ONLY gets a 6/10 - are you on dope?, or more to the point, are you NOT on dope?
Alex - Greg Dulli can do no wrong. Damn I miss the Afghan Whigs.
Greg Dulli can do no wrong. Damn I miss the Afghan Whigs.
Agreed on both counts.
Let us celebrate our new understanding with the joining of chocolate and milk.
1. Fly on the Windscreen-Final, Depeche Mode. Ugh. Next! 4/10
2. Treefingers, Radiohead. So slow that even someone with tree-like fingers could play this on a keyboard. 7/10
3. Roxanne, The Police. Not my favorite. 6/10
4. New Year's Day, U2. Classic! 8/10
5. Sometimes (Lester Piggott), James. Best song on the Laid album. 10/10
6. World in My Eyes, Depeche Mode. Um, okay. 7/10
7. Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair), Sheena Easton. Makes me think of The Greatest American Hero. 7/10
8. Lovely Ladies, Les Miserables. Ah, Fantine at her most desperate. She should have just taken her daughter back from that bad innkeeper man and his wife. Jean Valjean would have helped her. But then Cosette may not have ever met Marius. A good song from the Bestest Musical Ever, which I'll be seeing for the 5th (and maybe 6th) time this winter. 9/10
9. Troubled Mind, Kula Shaker. Is it about me? 7/10
10. Tora! Tora! Tora! (live), Depeche Mode. WHAT??? There's too much DM here. I need some more songs in this playlist. 4/10
Average: 6.9. DM tried to ruin it--they're what the skip button is all about!
I can't believe my computer is being forced to read the ones and zeroes that add up to such lousy songs. Is it possible to literally wash your hard drive?
can we make it chocolate and cheese?
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