Yes, Corey Feldman. When not making guest appearances on VH1's "Whatever Happened To?" or manning the Corey Hotline -- "Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: Gory ... story ... allegory... Montessori..." -- the Feldmeister apparently spends a lot of his time in his mom's basement recovering from a bad break-up with a girl he met at Burning Man. Just sittin' there, recording love songs and creating cover art that looks like it came from the back of a Trapper Keeper.
While I've never heard any of the songs, I'm really hoping there's at least one in there that describes his romance with Michael Jackson. Or at least give us the story about the chick with the scimitar. That has got to be a crazy ex-girlfriend. Or a sad, sad fantasy.
Speaking of musical superstars like Goonies star Corey Feldman, it's time for the Friday Random Ten. Take out your iPod, your iPod Mini, your iPod Nano, your iPod Fetus, or whatever you have; set it to random; and give us the first ten songs that are brave enough to show their faces. And in case you feel compelled by the power of Christ, go ahead and give unto us a Coolness Self-Audit.
Here's mine for this week:
1. Afrika Bambaataa and the Jazzy 5, "Jazzy Sensation" -- A little old school rap from one of the original rulers of the Zulu Nation. The fact that this has been sampled to death (the Beastie Boys got the refrain of "The Ladies! The Ladies!" for "Hey Ladies" here, for instance) removes some of the freshness, but it's still a solid choice for your ghetto blaster and/or boom box. 6/10
2. The Meters, "(The World is a Little Bit Under the Weather) Doodle-Oop" -- The moronic title aside, this is a great bit of New Orleans funk. Sassy guitar riffs, a good walking bass line, and all the Neville vocals you could ever want. 9/10
3. Björk, "Bachelorette" -- I will be mocked mercilessly for this by my fellow bloggers, but I stand by this Icelandic weirdo with all my heart. This is one of the better tunes from Homogenic and, while not exactly cool, it gets the job done. 7/10
4. Johnson Mkhalali, "Joyce No. 2" -- I have a soft spot for the blistering guitar work of African musicians like Malathini and the Mahotella Queens, and this number fits well in that groove. That said, it's an instrumental and a fairly repetitive one. Plus, I'm suspicious about what happened to Joyce No. 1. 4/10
5. Radiohead, "Pearly" -- From the excellent Airbag EP, which is a good indication that the band was really at its peak during the OK Computer era. Seriously, when you can create a masterpiece of an album and then build a great EP out of what didn't make the cut, that's beyond good. 7/10
6. Wilco, "Reservations" -- I just rewatched the documentary I Am Trying to Break Your Heart on IFC last weekend. It's a great rock doc if you haven't seen it (and it's still a great one if you have seen it). The band breaks up with their label, loses a member, and generally basks in the diva genius of Jeff Tweedy. The rehearsal takes on this song, in particular, are great. 7/10
7. The Muppets, "Mahna Mahna" -- Yes, these are random. I don't think any song originally sung by puppets can be considered cool, but if there were a possibility, this song would certainly be the one. It still puts a smile on my face everytime I hear it, even when it's in an ad for the ridiculous Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. (Seriously, you couldn't cram a couple more fake flavors in there? No?) 4/10
8. Labi Siffre, "I Got The..." -- Well, now, this is a nice rebound. This song isn't just a sweet '70s soul song with lush orchestration and dirty bass lines, it's also the source for the main sample used in Eminem's "My Name Is." I once said a perfect ten on the Coolness Self-Audit would be something you'd want to walk into a bar in slow-motion to, and this certainly fits the bill. 10/10
9. The Postal Service, "Against All Odds" -- Normally, even the most remote, six-degrees-of-separation connection to Phil Collins would merit a big fat zero on the coolness scales, but somehow this one works. Part of me admires the inventive arrangement of a "classic" song, and part of me just admires the balls it took for Ben Gibbard to steer into the mouth of the crapstorm and come out the other side. Well done, good sir. 9/10
10. Kostars, "Hey Cowboy" -- Two members of Luscious Jackson put out this album as a side project, and it's full of nice little treats like this one. A little more low-key than the LJ materials, but it certainly works. 7/10
Well, that nets me a 7.1 average and yet another C-minus on the Cool-o-Meter. With grades like that, maybe I too can one day become leader of the free world.
Do you think you're better than me? Because I will fight you. No, no, wait, that's the liquor talking.
What I meant to say is -- kindly drop your own FRT in the comments, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit.
Punk.
10 comments:
This album cover is more depressing than that one with Joyce on it. I'll try to pick the somber mood up a bit.
1) Carry the Zero - Built to Spill. Yeah! This is how you start a Friday with trademark BtS. A slow, melodic beginning developing into an guitar chord frenzy. 8/10
2) Supersonic - Bad Religion. One mintue and 46 seconds of melodic neopunk fury. 8/10
3) Dusty Nothing - Dead Meadow. My latest favorite band here. Like Zeppelin and Yes and Black Sabbath in a blender with an And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead garnish. This isn't their greatest song, but it sure is loud and mushy. 8/10
4) The Weather - Built to Spill. What a great FRT this is becoming! My second BtS song. This one doesn't rock as hard, but I still love them boys. (I was hoping for I Would Hurt a Fly.) 7/10
5) Anthem - Groove Collective. Here's a change of pace to a nice funky groove. This band always makes my toe tap and my mouth smile. 8/10
6) Tomorrow's Dream - Black Sabbath. Yeah! Sabbath! 9/10
7) Familiar Love - William Shatner. Juxtapositions don't get much weirder than this. Satanic heavy metal followed by lounge cheese. This is not the best song off the great "Has Been." 5/10
8) How to Be Perfect Men - Songs: Ohia. My last new favorite band doing one of their best tunes. Filled with quiet desperation. Nobody rocks out with acoustic guitars like this. 9/10
9) New Favorite - Alison Krauss & Union Station. Fine band, but this song is just too chicky. 4/10
10) Pints of Guinness Make You Strong - Against Me! No way will a song with this title receive less than an 8/10
I rock, and I'm so thirsty now. Does Dunkin Donuts sell Guinness at 8:00 in the morning?
A chick he met at Burning Man. You, sir, are funny.
Okay, I streamlined my music collection here at work some, so get ready for a distilled dose of rockin' great tunes!
1) Siberian Khatru - Yes. I'm not sure, but I think "Khatru" means gettin' jiggy with it. 10/10
2) Burden in my Hand - Soundgarden. In my top 2 or 3 from these guys. 10/10
3) Dominion - Danzig. This is from Danzig 4, which ain't no Danzig 3, which ain't no Danzig 1 or 2. Still, I find myself involuntarily flexing, so it must be good. 7/10
4) Put You Down - Alice in Chains. Dammit! Another awesome tune. Chorus line might have been written about Delay-Abramoff: "I don't need you, I just can't put you down." 10/10
5) Harold Land - Yes. Off their first album. Now that I'm listening to old-school Floyd as well, I'm starting to wonder just how much these guys ripped each other off. Harold Land - Arnold Layne, anyone? 10/10
6) Lookin' Out My Back Door - CCR. I hear Jeff Gannon loves this song. 8/10
7) A Saucerful of Secrets - Floyd. Speak of the devil! 6/10
8) Angry Chair - Alice in Chains. I much prefer a Lay-Z-Boy. 5/10
9) Let's Get Rocked - Leppard. 'nuff said. 6/10
10) Mr. Crowley - Ozzy. What a way to finish! You know anyone else who used "polemically" in a song? I didn't think so. 10/10
Another great week for me, and for America.
5)
Whoa. iRod, believe it or not, I was singing "Tomorrow's Dream" to myself in the shower this morning.
Sorry for putting that image in your head. Maybe Smitty can suggest a brew to help expunge it.
Whoa. iRod, believe it or not, I was singing "Tomorrow's Dream" to myself in the shower this morning.
Think unsexy thoughts .... think unsexy thoughts ....
Otto, believe it or not, that "Mah Na Mah Na" song is originally performed by Giorgio Moroder. How 'bout that?
1. "Unsatisfied," Nine Black Alps -- Not a cover of the Replacements song. This sounds like a more rockin' Cracker. 7/10
2. "Spoon," Can -- I don't understand why this is the last song on Ege Bamyasi, and not the first, but whatevs. The song and the album are great. 9/10
3. "Do Right To Me Baby," Bob Dylan -- I dunno if Christian Bob is ironically cool or not. This song isn't especially interesting, either way. 6/10
4. "Get Down On It," Kool & The Gang -- This reminds of one of my birthday parties when I was a kid. 4/10
5. "Come On," Chuck Berry -- This might be my favorite song of his. 9/10
6. "Saveship," Josh Rouse -- I have no idea why I've got this song, and somehow I sense it isn't all that cool, but it's rather enjoyable overall. 6/10
7. "Outside," Primitives -- In high school, I was listening to stuff like this instead of Black Flag. Deduct four points. 2/10
8. "Happiness Is A Warm Gun," Beatles -- This is probably one of their highest scorers for the purposes of this exercise. 7/10
9. "White Cotton Panties," Spalding Rockwell -- Sleazy as the title suggests, but is electroclash still cool? Was it ever? 7/10
10. "Rivers of Sound," Fennesz -- Waves of relaxing, staticky feedback. Ahhh... I love this stuff. 8/10
Bonus: "Endorfun," LCD Soundsystem -- I have already forgotten hearing this song. 7/10
6.54
Otto, believe it or not, that "Mah Na Mah Na" song is originally performed by Giorgio Moroder.
Well, if it's by a man named Giorgio and not a muppet named Scooter, then maybe it is a little cool after all.
Björk will always deserve mad props for giving the American music scene the kick in the pants it so severely needed in the early-mid 90s. I credit her, perhaps wrongly, with almost singlehandedly jolting us out of that juvenile, slightly crunchy, "acoustic music is the only music" doldrums. We owe a lot of the innovation we've seen in popular music over the past decade to her and her collaborators.
Smitty,
I drank a some awesome Belgian beer with a 10% alcohol volume for my birthday. They did not warn me that trying to take my pants off over my head was a bad idea on the lable of the bottle. Therefore, I am filing a class action lawsuit. You are welcome to join.
You're right; there is no warning like on a pack of smokes. I will gladly join your suit.
Careful, Smitty. Most of StudioDave's suits are seersucker -- well, nearsucker -- and have suspicious stains. I don't think you want to join that.
Try some Russian Imperial Stout. Dogfish Head's World Wide Stout weighs-in at 18% abv. 36-proof beer. I followed this with the Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA, which is a whopping 21% abv.
It was when I tried to take someone else's pants off over their heads that I got cut-off.
You're right; there is no warning like on a pack of smokes. I will gladly join your suit.
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