This week's album cover ... uh ... This week ....
Yeah, I've got nothing.
In any case, I'm pretty sure the deep sadness of this album cover speaks for itself, like one of those tacky oil paintings of a depressed clown or an extended commentary by retarded manchild John Madden. It's just wrong.
Maybe the Friday Random Ten can help ease the pain. You all should know the drill by now -- set your computerized, electronic music box to random and give us the first ten songs that show up. If you damn well feel like it, conduct a Coolness Self-Audit as well, rating the songs on a scale from a craptacular Welkian zero to a perfect Funkadelician ten.
1. Lush, "Sweetness and Light" -- If there were ever a perfectly apt band name and song title, this is it. Lush stood at the forefront of the shoegazer movement, and this is a strummy, fuzzy little number. A little too ethereal at times, but it certainly gets the job done. 7/10
2. Tortoise & Bonnie Prince Billy, "Daniel" -- Yes, the Elton John song. Covered here by Tortoise and one of the many alter egos of alternafolk hero Will Oldham. I never really cared for the original, but this is just edgy and dark enough to make it work beautifully. 9/10
3. Ramasutra, "Marder" -- Who doesn't love South Asian electronica? Me, apparently. 5/10
4. Tapes 'n' Tapes, "Insistor" -- T'n'T is one of those music blog favorites that I've never really understood. (See also, "The National," "Of Montreal," and "The Arctic Monkeys.") Actually, T'n'T doesn't really belong on that list, as I merely think they're good -- and this song is good -- just not as mindblowingly, pantsshittingly great as the hip bloggers all tell me. Those other bands I mentioned can burn in hell. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Of Montreal. 6/10
5. Jurassic 5, "If You Only Knew" -- I love this group, but this is definitely the weak link on Power in Numbers. Eh. 5/10
6. Willie Eason, "Franklin D. Roosevelt, a Poor Man's Friend" -- A six-minute blues tribute to the death and legacy of FDR. It's a little plodding at times, especially the blow-by-blow description of his passing, but the general sentiment is nice. Sort of a "George W. Bush Doesn't Like Black People" of an earlier generation. Except it's, you know, favorable. 4/10
7. Modest Mouse, "Gravity Rides Everything" -- One of my all-time favorites. This song just doesn't get old. Not even the Volkswagen ad took the shine of this one. 10/10
8. Silversun Pickups, "Lazy Eye" -- I stumbled across this band only recently, thanks to multiple recommendations -- including a TBogg post that features the video for this very song. If you miss the heyday of the Smashing Pumpkins, you should definitely check this one out. The album version is better than the single used at TBogg's, because it has a nicely warped synthesizer interlude. 8/10
9. Gloria Jones, "Tainted Love" -- This is the original, '60s soul version of a song that Soft Cell would turn into their one-hit wonder in the '80s. It blows that nancy-boy, synthesized piece of shit right out of the water. 9/10
10. Neil Young, "One of These Days" -- I picked this song up after watching the imminently enjoyable DVD of Heart of Gold. Young's entering the last years of his career, but he's doing it with a lot of style and class. This is a nice, sweet, reflective ballad. If you like that kind of crap. 7/10
I stumbled pretty badly there in the middle, but a nice string of songs at the end helped bring me back up to a 7.0 average. I did it by a whisker, but I finally passed Coolness 101! Goodbye, G.E.D.!
Feel free to drop your own snark about my choices in the comments below or, better yet, give us your own FRT.