Monday, January 22, 2007

Stupor Bowl

Well, it was an exciting day of professional footballing yesterday.

The NFC championship was the first game of the day, with the Chicago Bears taking on the New Orleans Media Narrative That Would Not Die. It was a good game through halftime, as the Saints climbed back from an early deficit to close the gap to 14-16 somewhere near halftime. (Ed. Details on the actual games will be fuzzy as the Yuengling and poker hands were flowing freely at my place.) But the Manning magic manifested itself in this game, as with all games. Here, that meant that the stunning Saints of 2006 started to resemble the bumbling Aints of the Archie Manning era, and the team crumbled more quickly than a powdery beignet at Cafe du Monde. Even with Rex the Sex Cannon under center, the Bears stomped their way to a convincing 39-14 rout and earned a ticket to the Super Bowl -- the first time they've ever done it without a lameass theme song.

The AFC championship was a classic matchup between the New England Patriots and their perennial prison brides, the Indianapolis Colts. This looked like it was going to be another blowout, with the Pats streaking to a 21-3 lead in the first half. This time, the Manning magic was dispelled, as Peyton Manning -- a man more associated with choking than Dr. Heimlech -- managed to lead his team back from a huge deficit. This was a wild one, with three different linemen scoring touchdowns, two of them on goalline fumbles. but in the end, the Colts executed a terrific late-game touchdown drive to take the lead, and a Tom Brady interception in the last seconds of the game sealed it. Colts win 38-34, and Peyton Manning has now been signed to do every single network television ad. (Look for his new Tampax spot this weekend!)

That gives us a phenomenal matchup for the Super Bowl. Personally, I like both of these teams and their coaches, so I'm torn. As much as I fear the Manning hype, it would be nice to see the Colts win this one and put to rest the endless hours of choke talk from the sports hacks. But I'd be happy to see the Bears win as well. Brian Urlacher survived intimate relations with Paris Hilton. He deserves a little sunshine in his life.

Consider this an open thread for all things football. Feel free to post your Super Bowl predictions, your thoughts on the games, or your rueful complaints about how much you ate/drank yesterday.


Thrillhous said...

Nice picture. Should be a good game. I really don't like teams that get most of it done on defense, though. Just too boring (TB, Baltimore, Bears).

My prediction of an all-evangelical super bowl is shot, with only one evangelical in it. But Lovie's a devout Methodist, a la Dubya. does that count?

InanimateCarbonRod said...

My favorite part of the game was when my house lost power just before 6:00 and didn't come back until after 10.

I think someone was upset that I skipped church yesterday.

Otto Man said...

I think the Methodists are busy disavowing Bush, as seen in the SMU-presidential library spat.

After forty games with just white coaches, though, we've now got two black ones going head-to-head. Is that enough of a People Magazine angle to get you hooked?

Otto Man said...

Yikes. I-Rod, if that had been my house, I would've immediately hopped in the car and driven to the nearest bar with power.

InanimateCarbonRod said...

That was my initial reaction, but apparently abandoning your wife and children in an unheated home with no way to contact the outside world is frowned upon.

Plus, I'd have had to figure out how to open the "automatic" garage door without the "automatic" part.

Otto Man said...

Plus, I'd have had to figure out how to open the "automatic" garage door without the "automatic" part.

Pfft. Put the car in reverse and slam on the gas. Two simple steps that will open any garage door.

TravisG said...

It snowed here yesterday, which means I had to work. (I haven't recently purchased a Mr. Plow franchise; I work for the teevee.)

I still got to watch most of the games, though. I feel bad for rooting against Peyton, because he is great and all, but it's fun having Dan Marinos and Karl Malones and A-Rods (especially A-Rod).

Also, I'm still bitter about that Sunday I played the Peyton Manning drinking game, and lost badly. In hindsight, though, that probably wasn't Manning's fault. I shouldn't have played during a Colts game.

Smitty said...

Bears by 3. Manning's offense can't withstand a disciplined defense that tries to strip the ball with every tackle.

The other thing I love about the Superbowl is that it appears to be the "shut the talking heads on ESPN up" game. All morning while I work out and eat breakfast, I have to hear those 2 dipshits on Sports Center go on and on about how Dungy needs to be fired, Lovie is a go-nowhere coach who puts too much faith in Grossman, Grossman has to endure questions about why he is still playing and not Greise, and Manning has to endure the Mediocre Mantle every single week.

Well, fatasses...who's going to The Show now?

Otto Man said...

Yeah, as I hinted at in the post, part of the reason I like this matchup is that either way we're going to see the Media Morons eat crow.

Either Rex Grossman becomes a Super Bowl winner or, better yet, Manning and Dungy end all the talk about their inability to seal the deal. Either way, the experts can suck it.

Speaking of which, I'm proud to see that the first one to leave the Cowboys wasn't TO, but Parcells. Another one the sports talking heads got wrong.

Sheesh, with prognostication skills like that, you'd think they were the journalists writing about Iraq.

Otto Man said...

Hmmm... The starting line for the game is Colts minus 7.

If I were one of those compulsive gambling types, I might just go with the Bears and the points.