I've been holding back on using this album cover for a long, long while, but I can't hide its true awfulness any longer. I apologize if you're checking the blog over your lunch break.
Leaving aside the aesthetic appeal of watching Millie Jackson drop the kids off at the pool -- an action that may or may not wind up having Elvis-like consequences -- you've got to question the decision to come right out and refer to her own music as "the shit." I'm sure she meant it in the jive slang of "this is the shit!" but I'm wagering that most listeners would drop that "the" from that sentence when passing judgment on this craptacular album.
Speaking of the shit, it's time for another Friday Random Ten!
You all know the drill. Crank up your iTunes, set it to random, and give us the first ten songs that tumble out. If, like Millie Jackson, you'd like to give it your all, go ahead and throw in a Coolness Self Audit as well.
1. Lee Dorsey, "Yes We Can Can" -- Incredibly funky '60s New Orleans soul from one of its lesser-known masters. A perfect creole blend of guitar, organ, horns and, if I'm not mistaken, cayenne seasoning. Plus, of course, Dorsey's infectious vocals. Excellent stuff. 9/10
2. Jurassic 5, "Twelve" -- A fairly decent track from Quality Control, but not exactly their best work in terms of either beats or rhymes. "One, two, Jurassic Crew / What we bout to do, brothers have no clue." Come on, boys. You're better than that. 6/10
3. Creation, "Making Time" -- Why yes, I do own the Rushmore soundtrack. Not exactly rare, but still some excellent British psychedelic prog rock. I believe this was their first and best single. 8/10
4. EPMD, "Crossover" -- For a hiphop group who framed most of their albums around a Stringer Bell-like business model -- Strictly Business, Unfinished Business, Business As Usual and Business Never Personal -- it's a little ironic to hear them talking here about other acts being sellouts looking just to the business side of things. Still, it's a great track and highlights Erick Sermon in his prime. 8/10
5. The Gourds, "Miss You" -- An encore track from their 3-CD live recording at the Bluegrass Inn in Nashvegas. Not as mind-blowingly brilliant as the other cover here (Snoop Dogg's "Gin 'n' Juice"), this is still an inventive one. The accordian intro makes you wish the Stones had done it that way too. 7/10
6. Loretta Lynn, "Out of My Head and Back in My Bed" -- Occasionally, Loretta Lynn veers into Lurleen Lumpkin territory, but this is a nice jaunty country number about stalking an ex-lover. Some nice classic country. 7/10
7. Slick Rick, "It's a Boy (Large Professor Remix)" -- Looks like it's Old School Day here at the FRT. This is a spare remix of a classic Slick Rick tune. With the music stripped down to a drum beat and a little bit of vibes, you get to bask in the beauty of Slick Rick's silky smooth rhymes. Very nice. 9/10
8. Milton Mapes, "Lonesome Town" -- I won't say this too often, so let me say it now. I like the Ricky Nelson version much better. 4/10
9. The Gruesomes, "Way Down Below" -- On first listen, this sounds like some undistinguished mid-'60s garage rock, but these guys were a short-lived group from the mid-'80s. Still undistinguished, though. 3/10
10. Nina Simone, "Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair (Jaffa Remix)" -- A very nice remix of the Nina Simone classic, courtesy of one of the excellent Verve Remixed CDs. It's hard to improve on the original, but this remix does it. 9/10
After a strong start, I managed to stumble badly at the end there. Still, that gives me a 7.0 average, yet another in a long string of mildly mediocre ratings on the Coolness Scale. I like to think of it as my own personal crusade to revive the noble tradition of the Gentleman's C. Or maybe I'm just lazy. You decide.
Alright, folks, let's see what you've got. Drop your own FRT in the comments, with or without a Coolness Self-Audit as the mood may strike you.